This week has been really kind of intense.
First the good news. On Monday I had an ultrasound to check on my endo and, surprise, my ovaries are clean! No cysts no nothing. Doctor says I still have endo cells and that I will always have them as it is a chronic condition, but for now things appear to be stabilized. I’ll drink to that.
On Monday too they called me from the hospital telling me I should be there on Wednesday, ready to spend the night. Well, that was fast. They’d told me I would have to wait 2 to 3 weeks and all of a sudden there I was, Wednesday morning, looking nervous and suspicious. I had blood drawn, then off I went to the visual evoked potentials test and then the much dreaded spinal tap (because acupuncture is so 2014).
The evoked potentials weren’t easy, trying to stay still, focusing on a red square on a screen, while my mind just wanted to wander off. I left feeling a bit hypnotized. But the spinal tap… oh dear. I hope that was the first and only time I had one. I think the local anesthesia was just placebo because I felt pretty much everything, and yes it hurt. And I don’t know where exactly the doctor stuck the needle that I felt an electric shock all the way from my left foot to the knee. I almost jumped even though the nurse was holding me tight. When it was over, both doctor and nurse said that it went really fast and well. I was thinking, “Really? It could have been worse?” But yes, it could. Later I spoke to a friend of mine who had acute leukemia two years ago and had several spinal taps and he was like, “Oh you were really lucky, your doctor must be a really good one. You have no idea what a bad spinal tap feels like.” I hope I never have to find out.
So then I had to rest and not move my head. Nurses would check on me asking if my head hurt and I was like, “No, but my back does.” I got so bored. Wifi signal was weak and all I could do was read. I was tired because I hadn’t slept well the night before (too nervous), but I couldn’t sleep because it was too noisy with people coming in and out to visit their relatives. After some time I just got up slowly and walked down the corridors and tried to read somewhere else. To be fair, my head hurt a little, but comparatively my back still hurt more. And I think part of the headache was lack of sleep and caffeine. I found myself craving a glass of wine for dinner, as a bit of red wine usually makes my head feel lighter when I have a headache. But obviously wine was not on the menu.
Oh the hospital food. No salt, no taste, no great amounts of it. I think in neurology they’re used to feeding mostly older people who don’t eat much and don’t move often, so the portions were small. Me, I need to eat a lot. I spend a lot of energy just by being nervous about everything. If the food tasted a bit better I would probably have stolen some from one of the old ladies (kidding).
But worse than the food was trying to sleep at night. I’ve been struggling with sleeping issues since I was 15. I can’t sleep if there’s noise or light, and boy there was noise. There were people calling the nurses all night long, and some machines kept on beeping and buzzing and being loud. I woke up startled in the middle of night thinking there was a fire somewhere, but no, it was just one of those machines. Zero rest.
Thursday morning I wanted to be discharged so bad I was ready to grab the doctor by the neck if I saw him. Not only was I uncomfortable in the hospital, I also felt I was occupying a bed someone else might need more than me. Most people there could hardly move. They had strokes and other conditions like myasthenia gravis. There were also patients with dementia. I was fit and ready to go home.
While I was waiting, I thought I’d go to the nearest cafeteria because I was hungry again. We were not supposed to leave the neurology area but I didn’t care. Of course I got lost on my way there, which probably made that the worst escape ever. But when I got back my papers were signed and I was sent home. *Relief sigh*
This is an experience that, although it could have been so much worse, I still don’t want to repeat. And that’s why I hereby declare myself cured. Those lesions? No, someone must have switched my MRIs. And if something happens to me in the future, I will be like Monthy Python’s Black Knight. It is but a scratch… I’ve had worse. I’m invincible. 😉