No mind reading allowed

Many years ago I used to be upset because people hardly noticed how I was feeling about something. So one day I was told that people don’t usually carry a crystal ball around with them and they aren’t usually mind readers either. Simply put, they don’t guess how I’m feeling unless I tell them. I thought that made an awful lot of sense (why didn’t I think of that?) so I started working on expressing my feelings.

~ I later found out I need to learn how to deal with people who still don’t care even when I do express my feelings, but let’s save it to another post. ~

Fast forward to the present day, and it’s time to take it a step further. Because it’s just not enough to express your feelings and then wait around for people to guess your needs based on those feelings. Again, no crystal balls or mind reading involved. If I want them to know and meet my needs I need to express them.

~The fact that I need the help of a therapist to come to these conclusions kind of worries me, but hey, I’m flawed. ~

So let’s see how this goes. I haven’t told my boss that I need a raise or my infatuation that I need him to take his clothes off (*giggles like a 15-year-old*) but I have been telling people that I need to rest. I think that’s a start. There’s always a chance some of them might feel threatened by my assertiveness (“Really? She has needs? Now what?”) but the good news is I might start attracting different people and developing healthier relationships. And god knows how I need those…

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3 thoughts on “No mind reading allowed

  1. Don’t feel so bad: my dad was way in his 30s when a friend told him “people are not obligated to know how you feel if you don’t tell them and they will only treat you the way you teach them to”.
    And you’re miles ahead of me….! I’ve always been very aware that it’s one of my biggest improvement areas (to use the corporate jargon:D ) but am still too afraid to try :/

    Like

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