2014. I had one of the busiest and most intense six months in my life. Apart from my 9 to 5 job, I enrolled in a postgraduation course as soon as I was told I didn’t need surgery because of my endometriosis. I also decided to start this blog, my Twitter and I started developing ideas to raise awareness to several health issues. Then, in March, I was told it was my turn to take care of everything there is to take care of in my apartment building. I don’t know how it works in other countries, but where I live when you have an apartment every year someone new is appointed to manage the common areas. That includes supervising the elevators maintenance, the cleaning services, and whatever you may think of. On top of all this, let’s not forget I have to manage the symptoms of all my conditions. There were moments when I was under a lot of pressure and stress, and feeling exhausted. And I was scared too. When I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, I had gone through a prolonged period of stress, and then, when things finally settled down I had the exacerbation that led to the diagnosis. It’s like my body got so used to the stress hormones, that it freaked out when there weren’t any. Funny, right?
But I decided to take a well-deserved break anyway. A week away from my job and my neighbors. I took all my books because I have a paper I need to write for my course, but so far I haven’t done much besides sunbathing by the pool, taking long walks and eating and sleeping a lot. I get tired from swimming in the pool and wandering with my camera, but it’s the good and normal kind of tired at the end of the day that everyone gets. It’s not the kind of tired that I get during the rest of the year and that I associate with depression and multiple sclerosis. The “I’m sick” kind of tired is a feeling of physical and mental exhaustion caused by looking around and seeing no ways out, no possibilites – of being trapped.
On Monday I will go back to “normal” life, even though I don’t thing there’s anything normal in spending an entire day inside an office looking at a computer. I will have an ultrasound to check on my cyst, and I’m honestly a little worried about it, because I’m getting this bad feeling. Whatever happens in the second half of the year, I know one thing for sure: when I’m on vacation, no stress and no overwork equals no ms symptoms. And I’m going to enjoy every minute of it.